Children bring their mothers enormous pride and joy when they become engaged to be married. The planning for the mother of the bride and groom outfits begins once the rush of the engagement news subsides. Mother of the bride and groom outfits should be comfortable, well fitted and age appropriate, and can be matched to the color, theme and style of the bridal party. Mothers synchronizing their suits has been a custom for several years. Attending other weddings, reading marriage magazines and visiting wedding attire shops can begin the journey. Having an idea in mind as to style preference when commencing the search may also be a good idea.

My son recently was asked to attend as best man in the wedding of one of his friends. The mother of the groom was disconcerted through most of the planning stages for the event because not all her ideas were chosen. The bride's mother tried to engage the groom's mother in the shopping process for their outfits, however the groom's mother had no interest.. The bride's mother selected her outfit choosing as her mother of the bride outfit an elegant, stylish and flattering gown. She looked beautiful and was a compliment to the entire wedding. The mother of the groom chose as her mother of the groom outfit the same dress style as the bridesmaids, but in a slightly different shade. Unfortunately, the outfit was not age appropriate or flattering to the groom's mother and she spent one of the most wonderful days she would ever have feeling contrite and absurd.

A few insights. When looking for a mother of the bride or groom dress, courteously ask the bride if she has any particular style in mind and if possible, take her along for fittings and to help choose what she may want you to wear. The bride should have input if she and you want it, but do not hesitate to speak up if the outfit she prefers is unflattering or cost is an issue.

Specialty dress shops have special mother of the bride and groom outfits. Keep in mind you don't have to buy your outfit from a specialty dress shop. Department stores sell formal wear for certain times of the year and distinctive occasions. Guaranteed, those outfits will be lower priced than a gown in a specialty shop.

If, however, the bride has picked out something exclusive in a particular store, you may want to honor her wishes by accepting or at least considering her choice. If price is an issue, remind her that you are on a budget and see if you can find something very much the same. If she is still adamant, then compromise becomes the solution. This is the bride and groom's special moment and it involves cooperation and support from the mother of the bride and groom. Once you experience the joy and laughter on this day, every annoyance will be forgotten and you'll be the happiest mothers of the bride and groom ever.

This wedding made me recognize that the day belongs to the bride and groom, not me. I will support them. I will offer opinions if it's requested, hold my tongue if it's not. I will even allow them input on the mother of the bride and groom outfits so as to not make them feel uncomfortable them as their friend was embarrassed. Remembering that this is the bride and groom's day and not mine may be the most valuable lesson to come out of my children wedding day.

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